Laurie: Okay, Oprah, if your goal was to send the entire world into shock, you succeeded. The announcement of
your retirement in two years has rippled through the media and brought great moaning and groaning into the public sector. But Coaches on the Edge feel this is an excellent opportunity to implore you to put us on your cover. First of all, you could put a sack of potatoes on your cover and your magazine sales are going to soar no matter what. We are far more attractive than a bag of spuds (not to be confused with studs). Secondly, even if it turns out to be a dud issue (not gonna happen), your popularity will not be phased in the least. Imagine the leeway that will be granted you now that there is no guarantee that we can pop on our televisions every day and see your lovely countenance (I bring out the fancy words when begging).
elizabeth: You make it sound like she will be setting up residence in some far away galaxy. Just for the record – if Oprah decides to set up her own network billions and billions of miles from here, I would like her home in CA. And, of course, to be on the cover of O. I appreciate that you did point out that we are slightly more attractive than a sack of potatoes. We have a few less eyes so getting us to look into the camera would be less problematic. See, we would not cause Oprah one second of worry. I will be right back. I have to do 2500 sit ups and then I will be able to finish this blog.
Laurie: So the clock is a’tickin’. Don’t make us take a licking. Our sugary words are sticking, and Coaches on the Edge are ripe for the picking. Somebody shoot me – I can’t stop rhyming!
elizabeth: Did I know this about you before we started to blog together? I am feeling a little frightened right now. If you start this kind of rhyming in front of Ms. Winfrey, please know that I will indeed shoot you. And then it will be just me and my BFF Oprah on the cover. Remind me to send you a copy of rhyming limericks. My treat.
There is still time to win the 2nd place prize of a brand new car by sending us your best slogan for getting Coaches on the Edge on the cover of O Magazine. We know Oprah (from watching her show for 25 years) and she will be thrilled to supply the winner with a brand new 2010 car of your choice. Psst…I look damn good in a light blue, two-seater convertible. Just throwing it out there.
Now the first prize winner will have the distinction of owning the first ever Coaches on the Edge tote bag that Laurie will be designing herself. Give that woman an iron and watch out. No really, watch out. She burnt me twice. Healing nicely.
© 2009, Coaches on the Edge ™
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