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I'm a survivor. www.violenceunsilenced.com
Sep
30

Coach on the Edge is going to be dancing on Ellen’s show.

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I have to say that I have not been practicing my dance steps this week, but did I think Ellen’s people would be contacting me yet? Just call me psychic, but I did get a dance DVD to practice with. I might feel a little weird dancing with myself, but in the words of Billy Idol (not to be mistaken for Billy Joel, or Billy Crystal who are older and brunettes):


When there’s no-one else in sight
In the crowded lonely night
Well I wait so long
For my love vibration
And I’m dancing with myself

Now I don’t think of Ellen as my love vibration and if I call the Husband that he might take away my bong. I hear Portia DeGeneres has got a nasty right hook, so maybe I will spike my hair like Billy’s, put on all of my hardware, curl up my upper lip and scare the hell out of my cats with my interpretive dance to Eyes Without A Face.

Who said it would be easy getting on Ellen’s show while reciting Billy Idol?  What would Shakespeare do?

Ellen – please call. I don’t want Billy Idol putting out a restating order against me.

Is it just me or do they look like long lost relatives? Ellen just forgot five pounds of  hair gel when this photo was taken.

© 2010, Coach on the Edge ™

elizabeth’s Creativity Coach site is: Coaching for the Creative Soul

Follow elizabeth on Twitter at: EdgyCoach or elizabethcoach

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Categories : Getting on The Ellen Show, Rantings by the Coach
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Sep
25

Coach on the Edge discovers Katy Perry and Elmo in a No-tel Motel. Russell Brand being consoled by Miss Piggy.

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I am childless, but that does mean I don’t have maternal instincts.  I do. They were put to the test the other day when Sesame Street bowed to the pressure of some parents who do not want their small children to see Katy Perry in a sweetheart dress with a veil. When I typed in  veil the first time, it came out as evil. And this seems a little evil. Much ado about a small breasted woman who was chasing Elmo.  Sorry Katy about the small breasted remark.

Come on.

I would say the majority of toddlers and children have seen and touched a breast or two since birth. Showers with Mom, seeing Mom get dressed, being fed by Mom. You know, all that slutty stuff that moms do in front of their children. Sorry Moms about the crack about being slutty. I remember seeing my mother come out of a shower once. I was around three at the time (just so you don’t think it was yesterday). All I remember was thinking I didn’t want breasts.  Got them anyway. Which leads me to this point.

There are more women on the planet than men right now. So, there are more breasts on the planet than men. And there are some men with bigger breasts than women. They can be found in the bakery aisle in most supermarkets. They are the ones with powdered sugar all over their fingers.

Breasts are here to stay.

Getting back to Katy and Elmo. I was appalled when I heard that the video was being pulled. Did these parents really watch it? I did twice and I saw a sweet, charming video. I saw in my mind’s eye little Molly, Sage Moonblood, Tyree and Jack jumping up and down like little dancing maniacs to the beat of the song. I did not see anything offensive.

When did breasts become a little dirty secret that women have to live with?

As a breast carrying woman, I am quite annoyed with all the parents who are sending a subliminal message that breasts are not to be seen because they are bad or dirty or evil weapons of mass destruction.

So sweet little Elmo is being thrown into the spotlight because he was being chased by a woman with a little cleavage. Katy, sorry again about the little crack.

And if they do redo the video (this was written on Saturday, 9/25) what sort of message are we sending out there?

And we wonder why our little girls grow up with body image issues.

And just to show that there is a double standard in this country – no one complained about Elmo being a tad naked in the video. Full frontal Elmo. Say that three times fast. 


 

© 2010, Coach on the Edge ™

elizabeth’s Creativity Coach site is: Coaching for the Creative Soul

Follow elizabeth at EdgyCoach or elizabethcoach

Please visit: my views from the edge

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Categories : In the News, Newsworthy Blogs, Rantings by the Coach
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Sep
22

Coach on the Edge says, “Move over Oprah, it’s Ellen’s turn.

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Now, I am not trying to stir things up at O magazine headquarters, but a girl has got to do what a girl has got to do.

For 37 weeks blogs had been written about getting on the cover of O and 37 weeks later, there has been no word from the Oprah camp.  And now Oprah is putting the finishing touches on her own TV empire with OWN network. I wish I had cool initials – maybe DVIA or QUEEN but alas I am just an unknown with EAC to call my own.

After much thought and time to reflect, I have come to the conclusion that Gayle King, BFF of Oprah’s and Editor at Large at O, should grace the cover of O. How gracious am I? At this time, I feel I have a better chance at being mistaken for Snooki from Jersey Shore than getting on the cover of O.

I just threw up a little when I wrote that last line. Is this not the ugliest group of people you have ever seen?  I wish I had a chance to talk to Jersey Shore’s parents about 25 years ago. A little birth control could have prevented this outbreak of trolls in New Jersey.

The Situation and Snooki after drinking all night.

But I digress.

I have decided (with the help from my sweetheart of a friend, Kim) that my mission is now to get on Ellen’s show. Ellen Degeneres – I will be blogging every week and asking my friends to help me get on your show.

I am doing this to make a healthy change in my life. Being on the cover of O means being air brushed so that your momma doesn’t recognize you.

Being on the Ellen Show means that there are sit ups, push ups, no carbs in my future. TV does put on weight and I won’t dare sit next to Ellen without getting trim and toned.

I do hope I forget about that last statement by next week.  But the need to be on Ellen’s show is my new goal.

Can’t you just see me dancing with Ellen on her show’s stage? Well, let’s start to visualize it.


 

© 2010, Coach on the Edge ™

elizabeth’s Creativity Coach site is: Coaching for the Creative Soul

Follow elizabeth on Twitter at: EdgyCoach or elizabethcoach

Please visit: My Views From The Edge

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Categories : Getting on The Ellen Show, Newsworthy Blogs
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Sep
18

Coach on the Edge is having drinks with ET, Joan Crawford and David.

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“I will believe in you every day of my life.” As told to ET by Elliot.

About a week ago I woke up in the middle of the night and heard someone say, “Why don’t you write about me?” I was pretty sure I recognized that voice.

The next morning I picked up a book, opened it and read, “I will believe in you every day of my life.” Okay, so this person is not so subtle!

David is my Elliot. We met 25 years ago. We were both 12 (we were mature for our age) and were employed in the Direct Mail/Advertising department at Bloomingdale’s in Manhattan.

Visiting David in AZ. He actually left Manhattan.

We had that comfort level that comes from knowing someone in another place and time. Don’t know the place or time but we have all met people where there is such a connection right away. If not, please get out more. They are out there. They would like to meet you. Again.

“I will believe in you every day of my life” friends are such an extraordinary gift.

When you feel like a stuffed pig in that little black dress that you didn’t buy on sale, they will tell you that your legs go on for days (they won’t mention that your rent is overdue).

When you break up with a bad boyfriend (and I don’t mean the “good” bad) they are there to soothe your broken heart (or was it the ego?).

When you continue to break up with the before mentioned bad boyfriends they exhibit courage by slipping the business card of a very good therapist in your hand.

When you are blind to your extraordinary and dazzling attributes they are there to tell you that you were always clever, compelling, amusing and a good dancer.

When they stay on the phone with you for three hours they will say it’s because your melodic voice totally engages them. They will never mention that they ran out of sleeping pills and that the drugstore is closed.

When they make you stretch beyond your comfort level and you start to feel the glimmer of your new life emerging, they are there to welcome you home.

There should be a national holiday for “I will believe in you everyday of my life” friends.

Now in fairness to me, I’m a “I will believe in you every day of my life” friend to David. I always felt he did more to enrich my life, but if I think of all the adventures we went thru together (and survived), I know I kept up with him just fine.

David is the ugly woman on the right. Just in case you were not sure.

We were struggling writers who had a gem of an idea for a TV show about 2 friends(how original): he the handsome, intelligent entrepreneur who saves world from ugly visible panty lines and she the clumsy, sarcastic (and outrageously breathtaking looking) woman who bought all the nations of the world to the peace table and just left them there.

Sadly we never got the chance to write our show. David passed away on Thanksgiving in 1997 from AIDS. It still takes my breath away. I lost my safety net. My darling friend.

Call a friend today and tell them why you believe in them. Then show them that you do. Make another call but don’t stay on the phone all the time. Let someone else have the chance to call you and tell you that they will believe in you every day of their lives.

Elliot found that friendship in ET as I found that unwavering friendship in David. But how unfair it is that David’s the cute, wide-eyed boy while I ended up butt naked with a big fat bald head.

And David, if you are listening, “Call home.” Again.

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