Laurie: My most expensive-to-date jeans came with a written warning. Do they lift my butt? You bet. Do they tuck in my tummy? Yep.
Can I breathe? Yes. Notice my priorities here – butt, tummy, oxygen. So what was the warning? The brand (I’m not advertising free for them after the price I paid) “cannot be held responsible for any positive consequence that may arise due to your fabulous appearance when wearing our jeans.” Cute and it worked. And it got me thinking that more clothes should come with warnings.
elizabeth: I am boycotting this blog until you tell me what these jeans are. Jeans that can change the world? I’d like to see Glen Beck in them. Maybe it would improve his fat ass attitude.
Laurie: How about “Warning: Do not attempt to wear this garment unless you possess a full-length mirror.” Or “Warning: These shoes are going to make your legs look fabulous; just don’t try to walk in them.” And “Warning: You may look great from the front. Please have consideration of those viewing you from the back.” Or “Warning: This same dress did wonders for Halle Berry’s figure. Please remember you are not her.”
But then on second thought, these warnings may hamper one of my favorite summertime activities – Watching the Outdoor Freak Show Costumes Go By.
elizabeth: I will admit that I have put on a few pounds. But I sit here at the computer trying to be clever and brilliant, trying to be the best coach I can be and yet I was totally oblivious for months to the fact that parts of my body need a little more attention. So I am waiting full a line of clothing to be made entirely of Spanx. I just need a little Spanx to get me through the tough months. But, if their tagline goes something like this, “your butt is responsible for global warming,” I think I just might go to seed instead.
If you think people dressing differently is a freak show than maybe a little town down, I don’t know….down south with a population of 156 including their hound dogs might work better for you. Viva the imagination of the people of New York!
© 2010, Coaches on the Edge ™
If you would like to learn more about Laurie, please go to her site: Empowered Life Journeys.
Stop by at elizabeth’s site at: Coaching for the Creative Soul


frightening. Where do all the freaks go in the winter? Is there a housing place where they lay in wait for good weather? Today there were out in full force. Knobby-kneed men in Bermuda shorts, knee socks and sandals already made their appearance in February so today the under-buttocks-look-at-my-underwear jeans were all the rage for the guys. The females have found yet another way to confuse men looking for hookers. They go straight to the Look at my Ass Wear with low-rise I-dream-of-Jeanie-pants, no underwear, and sequined bras. Conservative apparel, no doubt, because this is Sunday. Can’t wait to see the Saturday outfits.


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