I should start off by saying that I am not including the husband in this list. He might think I am up to something and the poor man would be right. Since I can’t get the phone numbers or the home addresses of these men, I am putting out my list on why I would never utter, “I Have a Headache” to these men
Disclaimer: Not every man is alive, in fact one is deceased, but don’t go thinking that I am dabbling in the world of Necrophilia. Ick. And two are religious leaders and I don’t plan on breaking any of God’s laws. I already have quite the list of infractions waiting to be explained away to her when my time comes to cross over. I just hope they have Amazon.com there. And fat free double fudge ice cream that doesn’t taste like crap.
Javier Bardem. Javier can cause the seams of a woman’s dress to break apart from the heat emanating from his gaze. Makes me think that being eyeballed to death by him is not a bad way to go. I even saw “Eat, Pray, Love’ twice because I observed, with my own eyes, that when he looked passed Julia Roberts in that “almost “bedroom scene, he mouthed the words, “elizabeth, I would drop her in a second to for you.” My meds had to be adjusted once I heard that scene between Javier and me was cut from the DVD version.
The Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr. I would ask Dr. King how to write speeches that move people to action. I am not looking for a quotable speech from him that will have me awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, but you got to admit that it would look really good on my resume.
Jesse Eisenberg (The Social Network). Makes me want to be a 20-something again.
Jetsun Jamphel Ngawang Lobsang Yeshe Tenzin Gyatso. Richard Gere calls him the Dalai Lama. I would sit with the 14th Dalai Lama and tell him all about my attempts to live as a good Buddhist. Well, I tried once, but saffron colored robes are murder on my complexion and I am on a crusade to find my waistline again so – no thanks. I would also question why his Holiness donated $50,000 of his own money to the University of Michigan to study happiness. 50 grand in shoes would make me damn happy. And if there was any money left, I would donate it to the poor. This is why I can’t be a good Buddhist. It is all about my feet.
George Clooney. Looking for someone to read the Twilight Saga Complete Collection to me and I hear a villa in Lake Como has perfect lighting for reading.
Colin Firth. And your question is?
I think I just created the perfect man.
didn’t sound sexy enough.
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