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I'm a survivor. www.violenceunsilenced.com
Dec
16

Coaches on the Edge to be on the Cover of O Magazine. Hey, Ellen can ya help us out? Week 5

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elizabeth: Ellen has been showing off her O cover and we are all so excited for her. We are. Why are you looking at me like that? I can be happy  for other people. I am only shallow on Tuesdays. But as we all know December turns into January and then Ellen can’t really hold up the old cover of O anymore without soliciting pity. From her millions of fans. I used to watch Ellen on Johnny Carson. This was long before she got her own show.   I never sent her a fan letter back then because she probably would never have gotten it. Okay, I was too lazy to write one. And now, it would be insane to write a letter. She must get about 57 letters a day. Right? So we are going to make our plea here and now. I mean Ellen and  ellenOprah are now like best friends. Just like Laurie and me. Well, we tend to fight a lot but deep down inside, we tolerate each other. And the order of protection was just a joke that went awry.

Laurie: Laughing – not. I, for one, am not concerned with Ellen’s happiness. She has many people, paid and unpaid, to make sure she is happy. So no fan letters or checks of good will from me to Ellen. Now if you’re reading this and feel inspired to write elizabeth and me a fan letter, you go right ahead. You can even enclose a check if you want. But what would really make us happy is a little close-up and personal time with the Lovely Ms. O. And if that leads to a gig on her show or a spot on her cover, then we could talk about us returning the money you sent Coaches on the Edge.

elizabeth: So Ellen, we know you have a big heart and that you help people who really need it. Okay, not being on the cover of O would not….well, hold everything. We need to be on the cover of O so that all of our fans can buy the magazine, get the cover framed and hang it up in their living rooms next to the pictures of JFK and Jesus. Just think of all the people who would get work from us being on the cover. We might end up being invited to the White House. And I am pretty sure we can get you in also. We have connections. Oh you missed us at President Obama’s first state dinner? Laurie washed and I dried.

Laurie: Next time I’m wearing a red sari.

© 2009, Coaches on the Edge ™

If you would like to learn more about Laurie, please go to her site: Empowered Life Journeys.
Stop by at elizabeth’s site at: Branching Out Life Coaching


 

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Dec
02

Coaches on the Edge to be on the cover of O Magazine – Week 3.

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Laurie: Okay, Oprah, if your goal was to send the entire world into shock, you succeeded. The announcement of
your retirement in two years has rippled through the media and brought great moaning and groaning into the public sector. But Coaches on the Edge feel this is an excellent opportunity to implore you to put us on your cover. First of all, you could put a sack of potatoes on your cover and your magazine sales are going to soar no matter what. We are far more attractive than a bag of spuds (not to be confused with studs). Secondly, even if it turns out to be a dud issue (not gonna happen), your popularity will not be phased in the least. Imagine the leeway that will be granted you now that there is no guarantee that we can pop on our televisions every day and see your lovely countenance (I bring out the fancy words when begging).

elizabeth: You make it sound like she will be setting up residence in some far away galaxy. Just for the record – if Oprah decides to set up her own network billions and billions of miles from here, I would like her home in CA. And, of course, to be on the cover of O. I appreciate that you did point out that we are slightly more attractive than a sack of potatoes. We have a few less eyes so getting us to look into the camera would be less problematic. See, we would not cause Oprah one second of worry. I will be right back. I have to do 2500 sit ups and then I will be able to finish this blog.

Laurie: So the clock is a’tickin’. Don’t make us take a licking. Our sugary words are sticking, and Coaches on the Edge are ripe for the picking. Somebody shoot me – I can’t stop rhyming!

elizabeth: Did I know this about you before we started to blog together?   I am feeling a little frightened right now. If you start this kind of rhyming in front of Ms. Winfrey, please know that I will indeed shoot you. And then it will be just me and my BFF Oprah on the cover. Remind me to send you a copy of rhyming limericks. My treat.

There is still time to win the 2nd place prize of a brand new car by sending us your best slogan for getting Coaches on the Edge on the cover of O Magazine. We know Oprah (from watching her show for 25 years) and she will be thrilled to supply the winner with a brand new 2010 car of your choice. Psst…I look damn good in a light blue, two-seater convertible. Just throwing it out there.
Now the first prize winner will have the distinction of owning the first ever Coaches on the Edge tote bag that Laurie will be designing herself. Give that woman an iron and watch out. No really, watch out. She burnt me twice. Healing nicely.

© 2009, Coaches on the Edge ™


 

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Nov
24

Coaches on the Edge to be on O’s magazine cover….

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elizabeth: So we have not lost our minds (you can’t lose what you don’t have), but on Monday I saw Ellen Degeneres on Oprah and she got herself on the cover of O. And Ellen is blond, very funny and married to the very beautiful Portia De Rossi. I am blond, people say I make them Oprah-Ellen-O-Magazine-Cover-December-2009chuckle and my wife has a beard and goes by the name of Walter. Okay he’s not really my wife, but I think Ellen and my life have so many parallels that if Oprah let Ellen be on the cover of O, then why not us? Laurie will sit quietly for photos and she is very photogenic and I try not to become bitter about that. I just hope my head won’t explode.
And while we are at it, I could use a wife.

Laurie: I could use a wife too. But more than that, I’d like a guaranteed ticket to fame and fortune. Oprah, can ya hear me? We know you have your very own life coach in your glorious (and way too heavy) magazine, but do you have a pair that are witty, edgy, and more than willing to pretend they are married to win your favor? I think not – Coaches on the Edge is one of a kind (or in this case – two of a kind). Anoint us with your blessings by putting us on your cover, and we will play among the stars forever more.

elizabeth & Laurie: We believe that Coaches on the Edge needs to be on the cover of Oprah’s magazine. But we won’t get there without your help. You need to see our heavily airbrushed mugs on the cover of O. You just didn’t realize it until now.
In the coming weeks, we will let you know how to make this a reality for two little girls who have a dream.


 

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