So Thanksgiving has passed (lost 1.5 lbs.)and now the world will be all aglow in red, green, white, blue (I see blue lights and think of Elvis and that Blue Christmas song and I feel an attack of acid reflux making its way up my throat), yellow, purple (purple?) and now they have that color that looks like a bluish white. I look at houses and trees wrapped in strings of that color and I think I slapped Vaseline into my eyes. I feel like I have 20/100 vision – it just takes the edge off everything. If I want to feel that way, I’ll have three glasses of Merlot. It just isn’t making me full of good tidings when I see it. Let’s stick with the good old standbys. Are you with me, Ellen?

You know, I am not conventional at all, but when it comes to Christmas, I am a tad old fashioned in my thinking.

I don’t want to see Santa with dark eyebrows (bleach them Santa, baby) nor will Santa in shorts do. When I lived in SF and saw some hairy legs attached to a Santa hat, I knew in an instant that I must move back east. Are you with me, Ellen?

I don’t really care for Christmas songs with a rap flavor. The only (w)rap that will do for me is the (w)rap that keeps me from peaking into my gifts. Have Yourself A Wicked Hip-Hop Christmas. I think these young men just made the naughty list. Give me Johnny Mathis singing, Oh Holy Night. I am not religious, but that song always gets to me thinking about Christmases past. Before rap got on the radio and made me feel like I was picking up a Scrooge attitude.  Are you with me, Ellen?

I think every home should have a kid dreaming of eight tiny reindeers landing on the roof. We could empty the orphanages, juvenile halls, take kids away from war zones and poverty and feed their empty little bellies and make their eyes dance with delight when they see that all the presents are for them. I think that is what the holidays should be about. Are you with me, Ellen?

And while I am so full of (it) the holiday spirit, I would like to have a few gifts under the tree – just for me. I can only do this “nice” thing for so long. Are you with me, Ellen?

Let’s make sure our gay teens know that they are loved and accepted for being the gifted and beautiful people they are. Let’s end bullying.

The Trevor Project is the leading national organization focused on crisis and suicide prevention efforts among LGBTQ youth. The Trevor Lifeline: 866.4.U.TREVOR

http://www.thetrevorproject.org/

© 2010, Coach on the Edge ™

elizabeth’s Creativity Coach site is: Coaching for the Creative Soul

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BTW it’s Ellen’s show that I will be dancing on. I don’t have a show – negotiations broke off about a week ago. In my mind. I can’t believe I stormed out of the room like that.

Back on Planet Earth – I want to let Ellen know that I am not just a dancer, but an actress, who is able to stretch and take on roles that a weaker woman would run from.

Back when fire was just discovered, I played Mr. Sun in a play put on by South Grove Elementary School. That they let me out of the principal’s office long enough to learn my lines was short of a miracle. Ah, but here is the rub – I played Mr. Sun in a bright yellow dress.  My one line, “I tried and tried, but I can’t come out today,” stayed with the audience for years.  I was asked to study under the direction of Lee Strasberg.  I still have the letter.  Tucked away in the recessives of my mind.

So Ellen, if you want to have a dancer on who has spent time training with the likes of Pacino (before he started to dye his hair) or Nicolson (before he took on stupid ass roles for the big bucks- not that that’s bad thing) then please don’t hesitate to call.  Between you and me – we just might get Pacino to go grey and maybe we can find a role for Nicolson. I hear South Grove is doing a revival of “Mr. Sun. The Misunderstood Star.” Just like me.

Let’s make sure our gay teens know that they are loved and accepted for being the gifted and beautiful people they are. Let’s end bullying.

The Trevor Project is the leading national organization focused on crisis and suicide prevention efforts among LGBTQ youth. The Trevor Lifeline: 866.4.U.TREVOR

http://www.thetrevorproject.org/

© 2010, Coach on the Edge ™

elizabeth’s Creativity Coach site is: Coaching for the Creative Soul

Follow elizabeth on Twitter at: EdgyCoach or elizabethcoach

Please visit: My Views From The Edge

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elizabeth: So, Oprah, are you going to see your friends Julia Roberts’ and Liz Gilbert’s movie, Eat, Pray, Love this Friday?  Bet they can get you your own copy of the film. If yes, we would like to forego traveling to Italy (I’ll pick up a pizza), India and Indonesia and fly to your house and watch it with you. I promise I won’t fall asleep during this movie. Not while Javier Bardem is on the screen.  I guess having him on the screen is the next best thing to sitting real close to him while Penelope is going for another slice.

Laurie:  I still haven’t gotten around to reading the book so it is doubtful that I will be in line for the first showing of the movie.  However, I’m usually down for a good pizza with thin crust so count me in, Oprah.

elizabeth: I am really glad that Liz wrote this book. I think it helped a lot of people, and being on Oprah’s show and in O magazine did not hurt her sales and fan base either. It got the word out there that we are not alone and that we can learn from each other.

So Liz, if you are reading this blog, how did your life change by being in O magazine? That’s what I thought – we are communicating by telepathic means right now and she says that Oprah should put us on the cover of her magazine. Liz – you rock!

Laurie:  Do we have to share our pizza with Liz too?

© 2010, Coaches on the Edge ™

If you would like to learn more about Laurie, please go to her site: Empowered Life Journeys.

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Laurie:  Far be it from me to question your judgment, Lovely Oprah, but I was wondering if you were aware that Ellen DeGeneres will no  longer be a part of American Idol next season?  After one brief year she will not be returning as a judge on the ratings-slipping, once-popular show.  Now she says it is because she just can’t be cruel and judge people and possibly hurt their feelings.  Uh, clue coming up:  You were hired as a JUDGE.

elizabeth: I am stepping around this and please don’t go calling me “lovely.” For the record -  I’m not. But I so get Ellen and her reasons for leaving. She was not happy there and she found being a grim reaper of dreams did not fit her. I still have the emotional scars from some of the jobs and some of the bosses (they will be in my memoir – How I Survived Your Psychotic Moods and Stopped Shaking). I think Oprah would applaud Ellen for taking herself out of an environment that didn’t suit her. But I bet Oprah is a dream boss and we would be happy to spend some time with her at our photo shoot.

Laurie:  I would never disparage Ellen.  In fact I enjoy her humor and her dancing.  But I’m just saying that Coaches on the Edge may have been a better bet in the cover arena.  No, we don’t have the clout of Ellen or our own daily television show for that matter.  But so far, we haven’t quit anything.  Witness our persistence in contacting you every Wednesday, rain or shine.  Madam O, do it for the little people (and we’re working on getting even littler – elizabeth has this great new exercise plan she’ll tell you all about).  Put everyday gals on your cover and make them BIG people.  Then we can all get on elizabeth’s exercise plan.

elizabeth: Little people? We are already fabulous women who have a dream. And Oprah knows this and is getting ready to let us know. We’re waiting. And I am off the phone so Oprah can call now.

© 2010, Coaches on the Edge ™

If you would like to learn more about Laurie, please go to her site: Empowered Life Journeys.

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elizabeth: “I also realized this season that while I love discovering, supporting and nurturing young talent, it was hard for me to judge  people and sometimes hurt their feelings.” Now this last part sounds like me (when the evil twin is napping), but Ellen DeGeneres announced the other day that she is no longer going to be a judge on American Idol. Some people speculate that she got booted out. I believe she just had had it with making ratings by playing it cruel.

Laurie:  Surely Ms. DeGeneres didn’t think she was joining a youth glee club.  Her job as an American Idol judge is to crush dreams, pop unrealistic bubbles, discourage useless efforts, and if at all possible, do it as cruelly as possible.  Anybody who doesn’t know that has been living in a cave without cable.

elizabeth: Don’t get me wrong, some of the contestants were bloody awful. Their parents should be slapped for mixing their genes together, but no one deserves to be slammed in front of millions of people. Now this only goes for American Idol hopefuls. Certain politicians, TV and Radio hosts and the cast from the Jersey Shore do have it coming to them. What really upsets me about the “Shore Whores” group is that some of them are from the area I live in. Gives me another reason to get off this island! And just for the record, if I sounded like any of them, I would volunteer to have my tongue removed.

Laurie:  I stopped watching Ellen (but would start again if she had Coaches on the Edge as her guests) when I turned on the television one day and she was hysterically crying.  Like someone had swooped in and massacred her family and made her watch.  And then I find that the flowing tears were about a dog that was adopted by one family and had to be given to another.  Sad for one family I’m sure.  Worthy of five minutes of television crying time?  Not mine.  Touching but maybe a bit over the top.

elizabeth: So kudos to Ellen and thanks for setting an example about what how we should treat each other. The bottom line is that we need to be able to get up in the morning and face ourselves without a lot of regret.

And Ellen, if you are as nice as I think you are, Coaches on the Edge would be great guests for your new fall season. Just don’t tell Oprah. She is starting to see the wisdom in having us on the cover of O. We won’t stop you if you want to put a good word in for us.

And not to worry. There is a New York State law that prohibits me from singing within 500 yards of anything with a pulse. Sadly, Laurie has to cross state lines or face arrest.

Laurie:  Luckily I still have a pulse so I’m loving the sounds of silence.

© 2010, Coaches on the Edge ™

If you would like to learn more about Laurie, please go to her site: Empowered Life Journeys.

Stop by at elizabeth’s site at: Coaching for the Creative Soul

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