elizabeth: I don’t remember a time in my life when I did not want to be a woman. Growing up men got drafted, had jock itch and male pattern baldness. Being a girl always left me with the feeling that my life had done me right.

Well not anymore.

I am actually feeling a little bad about being female in a society of overly made up, kinda of trashy looking cookie-cutter underachievers who will bed down anything with a willy. And if it is a willy with an enormous bank account – well, sugar, can I leave my extra black mascara on the night stand while I show complete and utter disregard for your wife and you?

And no, Laurie, I shall not be going in for a sex change. My voice is deep enough.

Laurie: Now don’t go off willy-nilly (get it?). Why on earth would I want you to get a sex change? Unless you are going to get an enormous bank account. In that case I will bed you down; pretend that I am all that and a bag of chips so of course you will leave your mate; and then when the proverbial fecal matter hits the fan, attempt to sell the story until you offer me enough money to keep my mouth shut. As long as men think with their willies and will pay ridiculous sums of money to pretend that they don’t, my sex still done me right.

elizabeth: Trust me, trust me, trust me. I do know it takes two to mess up the lives of others, but while some men run with a pack of dogs, what does that make the women who show such little regard for the other woman who happens to be them? Do they think they deserve so little in life? Is it enough for a lifetime to be known as a woman who took down an advertising icon? Come on. Where is your self respect? Did you leave it in the hotel room?

Laurie: Wait a minute. Now women have to be responsible for the roaming willy? Hold onto your hearts so the shock doesn’t kill you – I’ve met men who lie about their marital status! Yep, it’s true. And keep your hand on your heart, because there are women who feel they have the right to act like men and jump on anything with a wooden willy. Complicated, isn’t it?

elizabeth: And you know what makes my blood boil over? While they are sitting on someone’s future, they are trampling over the progress that women have been making since we were told to be seen and not heard. Dressed in their cheap heels and worn out thongs, they are making it harder for women to be taken seriously. While I might have a few years on them, I still remember the thrill of being with someone famous. I just made damn sure he was not married. And my lips are sealed. For now.

Laurie: Hand me a golf club. I bet I can make you take me seriously.

© 2009, Coaches on the Edge ™

If you would like to learn more about Laurie, please go to her site: Empowered Life Journeys.
Stop by at elizabeth’s site at: Branching Out Life Coaching