Facebook is my crack. My drug of choice. My lover. My best friend. My life.
As I am writing this, I am wondering what is happening on Facebook. Has anybody friended me? Has anyone read my blog posts and left the phone number of the best agent in the U.S. – no, they want my number so that agent can drop what they are doing and call me. Well, has anyone done that? Let me go look. Not yet.
I am pathetic.
I remember a lifetime ago when Facebook was for kids. Until an uber intelligent friend inquired if I was on Facebook. Of course not, I snorted back at him. I wear a bra, you know. Well, he was on FB. What? So I signed up with the hopes that I would perceived as enlightened and ahead of the times as he was.
Now before I do get ahead of myself, I can’t knock my time with Facebook. I used it first to see what people were doing who I used to work with. People got married and had kids and that was nice to see that life goes on and morphs into something brand new.
And my psycho bitch from hell boss tried to friend me, but I contacted the authorities and was able to move to a safe house. I am so grateful that I get to pick who can see what I am up to. So abusive ex-bosses need not apply. Or my mother.



name in her friends group that transported me back to when I was in my 20s and living in San Francisco. My boyfriend at the time had a brother who was married to that red-headed woman I will call Ms. X (a fake name to protect me). I looked at her picture and thought about the different journeys we went on after we both broke up with the brothers. We did live a few block from each other in Manhattan. But we rarely saw each other because I thought she was living the more glamorous life. And I was entering my sullen-poetess-and-stand-up-comic phase. And dating guys whose faces I could never pick out of a crowd. I think that had to do with dimly-lit bars and becoming dim-witted after a half dozen Southern Comforts. See, Laurie, I did embrace some southern things.
know you don’t accept gifts or bribes (good thing about the bribing – check out my savings account – $00.02 balance). What’s a girl to do? So I had this idea. What if next Wednesday, June 2nd, all the people in the world send you an email, write a blog making our case to be on the cover of O and twitter about it until that twitter whale starts eating retweets? Maybe we need a village of people who will help us. Hey, Facebook, let’s unite behind the Coaches on the Edge and help us get on the cover of O.


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